Hi I am new here

[bopbopdedoup]

I met a Argentine in 2006 the most beautiful man I had ever seen who barely spoke english. When we went on our first date he had a friend translate and I was told he was still married but their marriage was over and just waiting for his wife to get on her feet. I could relate being the father of my kids and I lived together for 3 months before I could actually leave the house, and in the time I met Cristian (1 year after I left my ex) I was still legally married to him because he would not sign the papers for our divorce. So my situation wasn't any better. Dispite the language barrier i found it interesting how what would be a normal 1 hour conversation for people who spoke the same language it took us 4 hours to translate or act out what we were trying to say to eachother so I thought here is a man actually interested in what I had to say or thought. So this went on for months and the relationship developed. Three months later we had created our own language half Greek (that I spoke), Spanish and English. We expressed that we loved eachother and were ready to move in together. Five months later I called him to wish him Happy 5th anniversary and his wife picked up, that was when I found out that their marriage really was not over and she did not know he had moved on as I had been told. That started our first fighting and he kept assuring me that he was done with her and she did know about me and he was waiting for her to get a full time job. I didn't want to be the woman who got empty promises so I told him if he didn't move in with me to prove it our relationship was over. So he moved in with me, but meantioned that he would not be able to help me financially for a few months so his ex could get on her feet. Here I was a single mom with two kids and paying now for the boyfriend as well. He worked nights at a supermarket with a social he said that was his and in the day he would have his daughter over and he watched her as her mom went to work in our house. Well not only was I paying his way but I had to pay for daycare for my child, and not once did he offer to watch my kid to save me money as I took care of him and his daughter. His daughter was treated like a princess while my child was always blamed and punished. My child never hit or yelled back which were issues I had to deal with his child. Then there were the times he would spend the night at his ex's with the excuse his child was hurt, or would spend all day there. We would fight all the time. His excuses were incrediblly good that he had me convinced with his logic of why the events happend that way. He would plant ideas in my head and then put no action into making them happen like how we got married. My kids visit their father in Greece every summer so the summer of 2007 both of our divorces went through and he said that he had plans for us to marry in Las Vegas before the kids got back from Greece. The time went by and he never did anything to make it happen but kept promising it would until two weeks before my kids got back I got fed up and planned the whole thing my self. After the fact he says to me "Why did you do that I was going to do all that my self". Looking back he never had intended to do anything. He had figured me out at this point that I was easy to forgive and a perfectionist when it came to projects. I could go on and on the events the abuse towards my kids and the manipulation, but the most I can say is I had served him divorce papers 3 times during our two years of marriage and he would never go away and found a way of turning it around on me making me feel guilty. Finally last fall I was so depressed i found out that yes my child has a life time illness and will need treatments and I was so un-happy I started counciling only to find out in straight terms that I was emotionally being manipulated. I served him the divorce papers again and shortly after believed to have been drugged but by the time I realized it didn't show in the drug test. I fought with him to the point I finally got him out of the house, but he would want to hang out and just show up at where I was. Get mad if I didn't pick up the phone. Shortly after I also had to meet with Child Protective Services because someone had reported him hitting my kids. He came to me one day stating that he spoke to the immigration lawyer and that if I were to divorce him before his renewal he would be deported and because his daughter's mom is illegal if his daughter didn't have a legal family member in the US she would end up in a foster home. Knowing that I am soft I agreed to stay married to him for his daughter's sake. Weeks later I snapped into my senses and asked my self I have gone far and beyond to help him, his ex wife and his children, but they are not my problem. I have asick kid I need to deal with and to finally get my sanity back and move on in my life. The first chance I had financially I filed the divorce. He threatened me that i will be in just as much trouble as him if I were to divorce him, but I did nothing wrong if anything I helped him out of debt and was doing what I thought a wife should do when their spouse is going through a hard time, but I can not stay married to him when I am not emotionally there and tired of his games, now that is fraud to me. I am still pursuing the divorce, but after reading these stories, after counciling and looking back OH MY GOD was I used? Should I report my story? Someone who has been there what do you do?

[admin]

You took a RISK in life, that's it. It works out, or it doesn't. And when it DOESN'T, the first thing you need to do after your "down time" (crying, wondering why, asking questions, wondering if it were real, etc) is check yourself and remember that YOU were the one who took the RISK. Once your content with that REALITY, you will be able to truly begin your healing process.

Listen, I was married the most beautiful girl I had ever seen with my own 2 eyes in real life. The girl I married was from Chisinau, Moldova. Young (22), so beautiful, caring, loving, sweet, innocent, wholesome, with STRICT morals and codes, everything I EVER WANTED. But when things got bad, so did SHE. You start to see different facial expressons, tones of voice, demeanor, etc. It happened to me. Do you think my ex-"wife" Silvia ever REALLY loved me. I have NO IDEA. But it took me a year to admit my RISK is what had made me feel so fucking horrible and depressed for sooooo many months after Silvia packed and walked out of my life forever.

In the end, it's YOUR risk. Do what you want. But understand this......it might feel REAL, and you might be care-free in the beginning, but if things go rotten...it can get UGLY.

And people, if you're willing to take this RISK in life and marry a foreigner from another land who you don't even know, remember that it CAN go WRONG and you will have to FIGHT for your dignity, self-esteem, sanity, etc etc because these people who want to have this "new life" in good ol' America will do just about ANYTHING in order to achieve that goal! So don't be all aurprised when you find your foreign national spouse starts acting weird and all of a sudden doesnt kiss your ass anymore.

All you can do is protect YOURSELF by compiling evidence that will help you to PROTECT yourself and help your case against the lowly Humanoid that is willing to prostitute herself/herself to an innocent American citizen who may be looking for LOVE in this life.....

Take your RISK, go ahead, it's YOURS....but make sure your willing to prepare to go to war to save your MIND, BODY AND SOUL!!!